


We Can Feel So Far (From So Close)

by once_uponacaptain



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Guitarist Killian, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, Musician Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-09-25 06:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9807047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/once_uponacaptain/pseuds/once_uponacaptain
Summary: Waiting until your best friend left for a cross country tour was a fine time to realize you're in love with him. Captain Swan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the first part to a two shot I've been working on for several months and finally decided to post. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this so far!

There’s an old quote that says something along the lines of “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” That you don’t realize just how much you love someone until they’re no longer around.

When Emma would come across phrases like that a few years ago, she would typically roll her eyes and mutter some kind of sarcastic remark, all while trying not to dwell on the fact that there probably would never be someone for her to love like that.

But of course, that was before she met Killian. And everything changed.

They meet on a Thursday night, under unusual circumstances. Emma had moved into her new apartment that afternoon, a simple one bedroom in Boston that was more than enough space for her and the small amount of items in her possession. The whole day had been a disaster from the get go. First thing that morning, her previous landlord accused her of not paying the last month’s rent, and threatened to sue if he didn’t get it immediately. (The look on his face when he realize he was in the wrong was priceless. And he wondered why she was moving out of his crappy building.) Then, the movers she could barely afford to hire wound up taking her furniture to the wrong apartment complex on the other side of Boston. By the time the fiasco had been taken care of, it was nearly the end of the day. Saying she was exhausted was an understatement.

Emma stands in the middle of the living room, observing the chaos that was now her new home. She may have brought a small number of things with her, but most of said things were still in boxes, scattered around on the floor and waiting to be put away. She’d unpacked a box of clothes solely to dig out her favorite Batman pajamas, leaving the rest piled up in the corner of her bedroom. Just something else that could wait until tomorrow when she wasn’t both starving and sleep deprived.

Her phone chimed with a new message, letting her know the Chinese takeout she ordered earlier had finally arrived downstairs. She's beyond ecstatic when her cartons of lo mein and egg rolls are opened and laid out on the coffee table ten minutes later, just waiting to be eaten. 

Of course, it would be then that the bulb inside the fixture that lights both the small kitchen and living room space decides to burn out, leaving her in the dark before she’s even had a chance to take a bite of her food. 

Damn. Unless she was willing to sit there and eat using the light from her cell phone- and she’d rather not make a huge mess her first night in the apartment- her only option is borrowing a light bulb from one of her new neighbors. People in movies went next door for sugar all the time, didn’t they? Asking for a light bulb wasn’t that weird. 

(Okay, maybe it was, especially when she’s yet to meet anyone else in the building. But she was too hungry to care at this point, and too exhausted to make a trip to the store down the block.)

She knew someone was at home in the apartment next to hers- she could hear “Simple Man” being played on guitar when she brought her food upstairs. Emma just hoped the guitarist next door was generous with household supplies, and wouldn’t be put off by her odd request. 

Five minutes later, after using the dim light from her phone to find the door (and tripping twice over boxes she couldn’t see), she’s standing in front of said guitarist’s door, the melody of another familiar rock song they’re playing catching her attention-; whoever this is clearly isn’t lacking where talent is concerned. She raps her knuckles on the door twice, hoping she can be heard over the song. After a moment, the music stops, and she hears footsteps coming in her direction.

Emma quickly realizes how ridiculous she must look and then regrets being too lazy to go buy her own stupid light bulb. She’s wearing threadbare pajamas, her blonde hair tied in a messy knot on the top of her head, and glasses that she hopes do something to distract from the bags under her eyes. Hopefully she can borrow and then rebuy them a light bulb as soon as possible so she won’t have to spend more time than necessary with her new neighbor since she doubts any of this will make a good first impression.

The door opens, and she opens her mouth to speak until the face on the other side catches her off guard. The first thing she notices are his eyes- big and bright blue, seeming to contrast yet still fit perfectly with his head of messy, dark hair and the scruff covering his cheeks. “Can I help you, lass?”

He’s English. Of course.

(She was always a sucker for men with accents.)

“Um, yeah. I just moved in next door and I was about to eat dinner when the light in my apartment burnt out and I don’t have an extra bulb and I’m too tired to go buy another one so…” Emma could feel her face turning bright red with embarrassment. “Sorry. I’m Emma Swan. I just wanted to ask if you had a light bulb I could use, then I’ll stop babbling about my problems and leave you alone.”

He laughs as Emma tries not to think about the fact that he’s got a damn near perfect smile. “Killian Jones. I believe I can spare something for you. It wouldn’t be very neighborly of me to leave you in the dark on your first night in the building, would it?”

At least he has a sense of humor. Most of her previous neighbors would have given her a dirty look before shutting the door in her face. He gestures for her to come in and she does, casually glancing around at the space that’s identical to hers. Well, identical in layout, anyway. The walkway at the door leads into the living room that’s connected to the kitchen to the right, with the bedroom and bathroom at the back of the apartment. But that’s where any similarities end. While her place will probably remain bare of many personal touches, as all her homes have been, Emma’s able to get a good impression of what kind of person Killian Jones is just by standing in his living room. The acoustic guitar she heard being played earlier is resting against a leather couch, which faces a simple wooden coffee table along with a flat screen that’s mounted to the wall. The additional five guitars and posters from various rock bands- he’s got everything from The Beatles, Pearl Jam, and Staind- hanging on the other side of the room confirm her original assumption that he must be a musician. He certainly looks the part from what she can tell: faded jeans, unkempt hair, along with clusters of various tattoos that wrap around both of his arms.

“This what you need, love?” Killian asks, breaking her train of thought as he holds up a light bulb that he’s just pulled from a drawer in his kitchen.

“You just might be my savior,” she laughs when he hands it to her; she’s never been more grateful to see a light bulb in her life. “Otherwise I’d be eating Chinese in the dark.”

He reaches up to scratch a spot behind his ear almost as if he’s nervous as he makes another comment about being neighborly. It’s then that she can’t help but be aware of just how good looking he really is with his dark hair and piercing eyes. The thin fabric of his t-shirt does little to conceal the taut muscles underneath, and she has to force herself not to stare.

“Aye, we wouldn’t want that. Might get a bet messy, especially being your new place and all.”

It’s then that she becomes aware of how long it’s been since she’s been alone with a guy, even on friendly terms. The thought makes her remember a warm smile and brown eyes she once trusted, would have done anything for. It makes her remember why she hasn’t even considered going on a date in months, why she dismisses everyone Elsa and Mary Margaret attempt to set her up with. And why she needs to get out of Killian’s apartment immediately; no matter how good looking and polite he may be, she can’t risk putting herself in a position with someone that had even the slightest chance of being more than just a neighbor. 

“Well, um, thanks for this,” she says, awkwardly holding up the light bulb as she turns to the door. “I’ll buy you another one and have it here asap.”

“Not a problem, lass. Let me know if you need a hand with anything in your apartment. You know where I live.”

“Sure, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

No, she won’t. Emma somehow manages to get the bulb back in place without injuring herself and spends the rest of the night trying (and not succeeding) to forget about Killian Jones.

And that’s how it begins. She’s too busy settling in her apartment and chasing her latest skip all over Boston to spend much time thinking about attractive, talented neighbors with beautiful accents. But she can’t help but smile to herself and hum along when she hears him playing his guitar almost every night when she comes home.

-/-

Emma’s been in the building just over a week when he shows up at her door the next Sunday night. She’s annoyed at first when she hears the knock; the newest season of Game of Thrones was about to start, and she’s not about to miss a single minute. There’s always the option of ignoring whoever’s there and pretending she’s not at home. But of course, her conscience wins out. Groaning, she abandons her comfortable spot on the couch and trudges over to the door, already prepared to tell her visitor that she’s busy and can’t help unless they’re dying..

She’s surprised to open the door and find Killian standing in front of her, nervously thumbing a silver ring that hangs on a chain around his neck. “Hello, Swan,” he starts before she can open her mouth. “I hate to bother you, and I realize this is quite a long shot, but are you by any possible chance planning to watch Game of Thrones tonight?”

If it was any other show, she would be convinced he’d been spying on her or had some kind of weird sci-fi telepathy. “Um, yeah,” she answers, “I was actually about to do just that.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and smiles. “Oh, thank goodness. Look, I don’t want to annoy you, but is there any way I could borrow a seat on your couch for the next hour? It was my arse of a brother’s turn to pay the bill for our HBO account this month but he forgot, and it’s going to drive me up the wall if I have to wait to find out what happens. You won’t even know I’m here. And I brought refreshments,” he adds, holding up the large bag of popcorn in his hand.

If it had been anyone else, she wouldn’t have thought twice before saying no. But he’d done her a favor just a week ago. And he clearly wasn’t lying about wanting to see the season premiere. Considering the way the last one ended, she can’t exactly say she blames him. Surely letting him watch it with her wouldn’t do any harm, as long as he stayed focused on the show. (At least that’s what she told herself.)

“Mi casa es tu casa...er, whatever.” She steps aside and gestures for him to come in. “You get the point.”

“You’re my hero, Swan,” he declares, following her into the living room.

Emma snickers. “I wouldn’t go that far. Just your average TV junkie.”

True to his word, Killian made no effort to bother her, and didn’t say a word aside from a few mumbled “bloody hell”s when the newest plot twists were revealed (and there were quite a few). Of course the added popcorn didn’t hurt, either. 

She feels her eyes getting heavy as the episode ends. It’s barely ten o’clock, but she spent most of the day busy with a stakeout and it’s obviously taking it’s toll on her.

Killian must notice her all but nodding off since he says, “I suppose I should get going so you can get some sleep.”

“I’m not that ti-” she protests, but the yawn she can’t conceal gives her away. 

He chuckles and gets up from his spot on the couch. “Quite alright, Swan. I certainly don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“So,” she questions as she trails behind him to the door, “how were you lucky enough to end up with a neighbor who planned to watch the same show as you tonight?”

He shrugs and runs a hand through his already unruly hair. “No idea, lass. I was in a bit of a bind, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to see what the odds were.” 

“Yeah, well, I’ll be doing this again at the same time next Sunday if you want to come back.” The words are out of her mouth before she can stop them. Last week, she didn’t want to be more than his neighbor, and now she’s inviting him back into her home. But she thinks about how polite he’s been, how he spent almost an hour on her couch not concerned about doing anything but watching TV...unlike Walsh, who tried to grope her in the movie theater on their first date. (He went home that night with a black eye.)

“As long as you’re sure I won’t be intruding, love.” 

He smiles when she says, “Not at all.”

Emma can’t exactly say she’s surprised (or unhappy) when he shows up at her door the same time the next week. And every Sunday for the next month and a half. They don’t say much while they watch TV, usually too engrossed in what’s happening on screen to give it much thought. But before she knows it, the season comes to an end, finishing on a cliffhanger that neither of them saw coming. She can’t help but be a bit disappointed when he goes to leave that night; it’s been kind of nice having him around for company over the past few weeks.

“I tend to watch a lot of Netflix,” she tells Killian as she follows him to the door, “so if your brother ever forgets to pay that bill, you’re more than welcome to join me in whatever I’m currently binge watching.”

He wants to agree, she can tell my the way his eyes light up just a bit at her suggestion. But he hesitates, waiting to make sure she’s serious first, that she’s actually comfortable with having him in her apartment more often than just for an hour on Sunday nights. “I might do just that sometime,” he tells her, smiling.

They somehow develop a casual friendship of sorts over the following weeks. Emma doesn’t know if it’s because he’s right next door, or if it’s just refreshing to have a guy in her life that doesn’t expect anything from her, but she’s grateful for it all the same. For awhile, it’s nothing but sitting in front of their TV’s for a few hours whenever the chance arises. They begin making their way through all six seasons of Lost one weekend out of pure boredom when they’ve caught up on the rest of their shows. She hasn’t seen an episode since the series ended, and Killian’s never watched it before. He becomes quite invested in the plot, while also constantly pointing out characters that remind him of other tenants in their building that she’s yet to come across. (She gets the idea that he’s warning her to avoid the redhead on the fifth floor at all costs.)

And for some reason, she’s not so scared of his presence in her life anymore. At all.

-/-

They don’t mean to become each other’s best friends, it just...happened.

It’s not just popcorn and Netflix nights anymore. It’s going to his Friday night gigs at the bar he both works and plays guitar at, having pointless conversations via text message in the middle of the night, pancakes at Granny’s Diner every Tuesday, sharing beers when it’s been a particularly bad day, and learning almost everything there is to know about each other. 

Emma quickly realizes that music isn’t just a hobby to Killian, like she’d presumed the night they met, it’s his entire life. Going to just one of his shows at the bar is enough to show her just how comfortable his is on stage with a guitar in his hands. He’s been playing since junior high when he began to idolize artists like Bruce Springsteen and Eddie Veder, much to his mother’s dismay. And he’s good. She’s not biased because he’s her friend; he’s one of the most talented people she’s ever met. He’s the type of musician that deserves popularity and tons of adoring fans, and she tells him so as he laughs at her, even though she knows he would love nothing more. He pretends to be content with his job at the bar and the occasional gigs that come with it, but she can see beneath the facade he puts on. He obviously wants nothing more than to do music full time, in spite of the fact that he thinks his odds of being successful are slim. 

She learns how his father left before he was old enough to know him, and how his mother moved him and his brother to the States for a new start before she died from cancer several years later. He mentions Liam in passing every now and then, who’s just been promoted to senior partner at his law office in London. Killian may not say it aloud, but she can tell he misses him quite a bit.

He finds out the details of her unconventional upbringing and lack of family, which helps him understand the lack of personal items in her apartment months after she’s moved in. Emma even spills her guts about Neal after a few too many drinks one Friday night at his apartment. She woke up the next morning in his bed while he slept on the couch, a glass of water and aspirin on the nightstand waiting to help combat the worst hangover she’d ever had. He made her pancakes and bacon the next morning without mentioning anything she may have said or done the night before, while she sat at his kitchen table and wondered how in the world she deserved to have him in her life.

He’s lost love, too, thanks to a drunk driver who took away the woman that meant everything to him. She finds out what happened when he breaks down on the anniversary of her death, and hopes he never again has to endure that kind of pain. Neither one of them mention that night again after it happens, but she gets the impression that he’s just as grateful for their friendship as she is.

Emma’s not even fully aware of how close the two of them have actually become until her other friends point it out to her. It’s girls night at Elsa’s, one of their regular get togethers that usually involves copious amounts of junk food, sangria, and life updates around the coffee table. “You guys need to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie,” she tells her girl friends through a mouthful of Ben and Jerry’s. “Killian and I saw it after work a few days ago, and he already wants to go back and watch it again this weekend.” She stops digging into her pint of Rocky Road when she notices the look Mary Margaret and Elsa exchange. “What?”

“You and Killian are getting pretty close, aren’t you?” Mary Margaret asks, raising an eyebrow. 

She just shrugs. “I guess. Why, what makes you ask?”

“Emma, you’ve mentioned him at least a dozen times within the past hour,” Elsa notes. “I’ve only met the man once, and I feel like I somehow know everything about him just from hearing you talk.”

Does she really talk about him that often? “He’s a friend...we just hang out a lot since he’s right next door.”

“Just a friend?” Mary Margaret looks skeptical. (Emma loves her, she really does, but the woman is far too obsessed with playing matchmaker among her single friends.)

“Yes, Mary Margaret. Just a friend. Don’t expect that to ever change.” Despite her close relationships with the two women around her, it’s been awhile- years, actually- since she’s had a friend like Killian that she felt she could tell just about anything to without worrying about his reaction or how he could use it as leverage to hurt her later on. 

Emma can tell from the look on Mary Margaret’s face that she desperately wants to make a comment about how the best relationships can develop from friendships, or something else she probably learned from the latest issue of Cosmo. She fights the urge to kiss Elsa when the blonde changes the topic of conversation, and Killian isn’t mentioned again that night.

-/- 

She’ll never forget the night she convinced him to play Justin Bieber’s “Sorry” just because she knew Killian couldn’t stand him, or any other mainstream pop artist for that matter. But he actually made it sound less than terrible, which shouldn’t have been a surprise considering just how skilled he was with an instrument in his hands. Of course, he made it up to Emma by serenading her with several of her least favorite songs for a solid week. (It took days to get both “Shake It Off” and “Moves Like Jagger” out of her head.)

At one point he sets out on a mission to improve her taste in music. She listens to a little bit of everything (besides country, she can’t stand any of it), but he’s convinced as a prominent member of his life that she needs to be familiar with more bands than just The Rolling Stones and Nirvana. (“Of course they’re great artists, Swan, but that barely scratches the surface of rock music.”) He steals her phone long enough to add several new stations to her Pandora app, and goes as far as to make her a mix CD for her Bug, which isn’t exactly up to date with a fancy stereo or a USB port. Slowly, but surely, his efforts begin to rub off on her. She runs to “Back In Black” almost every morning, listens to “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” during late-night stakeouts, and even catches herself singing “Friday I’m In Love” in the shower. She hears Killian laughing at her through the thin walls after an unusually enthusiastic performance, and insists it was all his fault for getting her hooked on The Cure in the first place.

She’s the one who encourages Killian to put his music out, somewhere besides the bar. Although he’s not yet thirty, he’s convinced that his chance has probably come and gone somewhere along the way thanks to the media’s constant obsession with younger artists. Emma rolls her eyes, tells him he’s being ridiculous, and refuses to get off of his back about it until he at least tries to snag a few gigs and auditions outside of his regular ones at The Rabbit Hole. (“You’ll thank me one day,” she promises.)

Of course, she never expected that day would come quite so soon. She hears him mention over their regular breakfast at Granny’s the next week that he has an audition to be considered as a musician for an up-and-coming rock band whose guitarist quit in order to spend more time with his family, leaving them with an available spot just weeks before their next tour is set to begin. She smiles and tells him he’s a shoo in, that they would be crazy not to pick him over everyone else in Boston.

Their friendship as she’s always known it completely changes just days later. She’s dragging herself down the hall to her apartment, thanks to a particularly exhausting day chasing her newest perp when his door flies open and he quickly runs over to her.

“Swan! I got it!” It takes her a moment to realize what he’s talking about, her current state of mind affecting her more than she realized. Before she can react, he’s wrapped her in a hug so tight she can barely breathe as he spins them around in the hallway like the massive dork he is. “They picked me to go on the tour!”

“Hold up, you’re making me dizzy!” she cries, reaching out for the door frame to hold herself up. “Congratulations, I knew they would! Do you know any details yet?”

The smile on his face has yet to waver. “Just that we leave in about three weeks or so. I have a meeting tomorrow with the rest of the band to finalize everything. Bloody hell, Emma, can you believe I’ll be playing in Los Angeles in a few weeks?”

She hopes her shocked expression hides the way his words made her heart sink. “L.A.?”

“Aye.” His smile suddenly isn’t quite as bright. “I thought I told you the tour was on the west coast. The band’s record label just started an office in L.A.; they figured it’d be good publicity to tour there.”

Of course he told her all of that. She was just too naive and caught up with other things to really give it much thought...until now. “Right, you did. But, wow, that’s awesome! I’m so proud of you.” She hugs him a little too hard this time, biting down on her lip to keep from tearing up. 

“You really mean that?” he asks, as if it’s hard to believe someone would actually be happy for him.

“Of course,” she says, the smile on her face dull in comparison to the one he deserves. “You’re my best friend.” It’s the first time she’s ever said as much, even though it’s probably been obvious for months now.

He was her best friend. And now he’s leaving. A few months apart wasn’t the end of the world, but it’s the possibility of what could very well happen afterwards that scares the hell out of her. For all she knows, he could hit it big on this tour, and as much as he deserves it, she can’t help but picture him moving to some fancy mansion in a big city where he’ll become a mega star and forget that she even exists. This is why she so rarely allowed herself to get close to people, rarely let the sky high walls she’s built come down. Killian Jones has unexpectedly come to mean so much to her within the past year that she’s known him. And because of that, she’s given him the power to wreck her from the inside out.

“And you’re mine,” he says, as it’s the first time he’s given it much thought, too.

There’s a long pause between them, as she wonders if his thoughts are anything like the ones currently running through her head. “Breakfast at Granny’s tomorrow morning?” she asks, desperate to change the subject.

“Of course, love. Celebratory pancakes are on me.” 

-/-

Neither one of them mentions his upcoming departure much over the next few weeks, mainly because he’s busy meeting and rehearsing with the band, and she refuses to accept the fact that he’s leaving until the last possible minute. They still have breakfast together and marathon their usual shows on Netflix as if nothing is about to change. Part of her feels guilty for her selfish attitude about the whole scenario. She couldn’t be happier for him, but deep down, she’s still scared for herself and what could very well happen to their friendship.

The time that he has left in Boston goes by so quickly that before she knows it, it’s time to tell him goodbye. (For now, she tries to remember. Easier said than done.) His tour mates offer to pick him up on their way to the airport, but he asks Emma to take him instead, in what she hopes is a way to spend a few more moments together before he leaves. They leave their apartment complex at five on a Monday morning, the bug’s trunk filled to the brim with luggage along with his guitar case. Despite the fact that the band will surely have several high dollar instruments for him to choose from, he’s insisted on taking along the acoustic she heard him playing the night they first met.

They spend most of the drive to the airport cracking jokes and making normal conversation, trying to put off the inevitable while they still can. Halfway there, he finds “Bohemian Rhapsody” on the radio and chooses to serenade her, intentionally making it the worst Freddie Mercury impersonation she’s ever heard. She wants to laugh and cry all at the same time thinking about just how much she’s going to miss him.

She gets to meet his tour mates when they arrive, Killian introducing her as “My best friend, Emma.” Robin, August, and Will all seem nice enough, jokingly promising to keep Killian in check while they’re gone. She’s only able to offer a half-assed laugh in response, still not quite ready to tell him goodbye, or even sure how to, for that matter.

They’re sitting on a bench, drinking overpriced coffee from the airport cafe when the boarding call for his flight is announced. The weight that’s been building up on Emma’s shoulders for weeks feels heavier than ever now as they stand and look at each other, knowing this is it. 

“Looks like you’ve got a plane to catch.” 

“I guess I do. Swan, I know I should have told you this a long time ago. But, thank you.”

“For what?” she asks.

“For, all of this,” he smiles. “If it weren’t for you, I never would’ve gotten this opportunity in the first place.” He pulls her in for a hug, holding her so tightly that he’s the only thing keeping her in one piece.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She bites down on her lower lip, hard; there’s no way she’s going to cry in front of him. “You’re the musician here, not me.”

“Maybe so, love. But it was thanks to your constant reprimanding that I finally tried to do something with my music, other than playing in that bloody bar once a week. So, thank you.”

“Then I guess you’re welcome. I now expect to be included in the acknowledgements on your first album.”

They still haven’t let go of each other yet; she doesn’t want to. He laughs at her words, and Emma finds herself grateful that technology will still allow her to hear the sound while he’s away.

“I almost forgot. I need to see your phone.”

“Why?” she asks, taking the device out of her back pocket and handing it to him. There was no need to tell him her pass code, he’d known it by heart for months now.

“I have something for you.” His brow furrows in concentration as he scrolls through something on her phone to find what he’s looking for.

“Really? You’re the one going away, and I’m getting a gift?”

“Not really a gift, just something I thought was necessary. Ah, here we are,” he confirms, giving her phone back. She shouldn’t be surprised that the Spotify app is open. What does surprise her is the new playlist he’s apparently created within the past few days that she hadn’t noticed. 

“What’s this?” Scrolling through the selection of songs, she recognizes several right off the bat that they’ve listened to together on occasion, but there are quite a few she’s never heard before.

“You didn’t think I was going to let my absence cause your music taste to be lead astray, did you? I think I’ve left enough selections to keep you occupied over the next few months,” he laughs, gesturing to her phone.

She notices that he’s included well over two hundred songs. There’s no telling just how much time he spent on this, considering how picky he tended to be where music was concerned. “You did all this for me?”

“Just consider it a parting gift.”

“You know I expect pictures of, like, everything, right?” she reminds him, ignoring the knot quickly building in her throat. “It’s been months since I’ve gone outside of Boston, and I expect you to take full advantage of this opportunity in every way possible.”

“Of course, Swan. I’ll even send everything to you first, so you don’t have to wait to see it on Instagram like everyone else.” 

“Jones!” The sound of his name makes Killian turn around. “It’s time to catch a flight, mate,” calls, Robin from where he and the other boys are waiting. The regretful expression on his face makes it seem as if he was sorry to break up their conversation.

“Aye,” he replied over his shoulder, turning back to Emma. “I’m afraid I’m not adept when it comes to saying goodbye, love.” Was this anywhere near as hard for him as it is her?

“Then don’t.” She pulls him in for another hug, trying her best to be the supportive friend he deserves. “Go out there and be amazing, just like I know you will. I’ll see you in a few months,” she promised.

“That you will.”

As hard as it is, she makes herself release him. He reaches down to squeeze her hand before turning away to catch up with his new band mates. She stands there alone, in the middle of the airport, and watches him walk away from her until he’s finally out of sight.

She’s able to make it back to the bug before she sheds a few tears. And if she spends the rest of the day on the couch, numbing her feelings with junk food and Killian’s new playlist, well, that’s no one’s business but her own.

-/-

The first week that he’s gone isn’t quite as difficult as she expected. She’s swamped with new cases at work, and comes home every night too exhausted to do anything but fall straight into bed. They text regularly and he sends her photos from wherever the band is that day, but it feels more like he’s away on vacation rather than gone for the next three months.

However, it’s only the next week when his absence truly begins to take its toll on her. 

The hall is silent every night when she comes home, no chords from “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” or “Yellow Ledbetter” waiting to greet her after work. She can’t bring herself to watch much of anything on Netflix; even watching a single episode of one of their regular shows feels wrong without him sprawled out beside her on the couch.

Killian’s been meaning to set time aside to Skype ever since he arrived in Los Angeles their first week, but he’s stayed busy thanks to rehearsing with the band, the actual shows themselves, and the unexpected amount of publicity he and the boys have been getting recently. Although he hasn’t told her so yet, she’s gotten the idea that they may consider keeping him in the band even after the tour is over, and he clearly wants to make a good impression on everyone involved. She does her best to be happy for him since he’s come so far, not entertaining the thought that life on the road could very well become his new normal.

The first three weeks of the tour take place in California alone, thanks to the record label and a big part of the band’s fanbase being based in Los Angeles. Liam is able to fly out for the first show, the first time the two of them have seen each other in months. Killian is clearly thrilled to see his brother- he’s grinning from ear to ear in all the pictures she sees of them together, and even the few texts he has time to send her show a shift in his demeanor. He’s happy to be back with his only family for a short while, and she’s happy for him because of it.

But Emma still misses him terribly. She misses hearing him play his guitar, misses him singing terribly off key just to make her laugh. She misses his laugh, misses having someone next door she can open up to after a bad day. She even finds herself missing the occasional blonde jokes he tosses her way every now and then that he knows annoy her to no end.

Elsa and Mary Margaret waste no time in pointing out the change in her attitude. It’s Emma’s turn to host girl’s night this time, which consists of The Princess Bride and a pizza ordered at the last minute since she completely forgot they had plans until Elsa texted that they were on their way.

Buttercup and Humperdinck haven’t even gotten engaged yet when Elsa picks up the remote from Emma’s coffee table and pauses the movie. “What’s going on, Emma?”

“You tell me. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t give us that,” Mary Margaret chimes in, giving her friend a Look. “This is your favorite movie, and you’ve barely paid it any attention.”

Emma shrugs. “I guess I’m just tired,” she lies, forcing a yawn that she hopes doesn’t look as fake as it really is.

“I knew it,” says Elsa, taking a bite of her slice of pizza. “This is about Killian, isn’t it?”

Apparently all her problems seemed to be related to him as far as her friends were concerned. “Why would anything that’s wrong with me have to do with him? He’s not even around now.”

“That’s just it,” Mary Margaret points out. “He’s away, and you’ve been sulking about it for the past month. You miss him.”

“Of course I miss him! He’s my best friend, Mary Margaret.”

Elsa sighs. “I hate to bug you about it, Em, but I think you stopped viewing him as just a friend a long time ago.”

“Hear us out,” Mary Margaret stops her before she has a chance to object to Elsa’s words. “You two do everything together- and not just because you’re neighbors. You understand each other better than anyone else can; I don’t even think Elsa and I know you as well as he does now. You went to all his gigs at the bar, even that one a few months ago when we could all tell you were sick, but you insisted on being there for him regardless. He’s joined you on stakeouts before, and not because he cared about spending hours cramped in your car; he wanted to spend time with you.”

“And let’s not forget about the fact that he’s only been on two or three dates since you first met, and you were grumpy for days when you found out about all of them.” She was expecting Elsa to be on her side this time. Traitor. 

“You two are so ridiculously in love with each other...and the craziest part is, neither one of you is willing to admit it,” Mary Margaret adds for the icing on the cake.

“Geez, did you two have that prepared?” Sure, some of the things they pointed out were true. Yes, spent a lot of time together (when he was here, anyway). Yes, she made it a point to attend all his gigs, and he’d joined in on one or two of her stakeouts before. And yes, she’d been irritated about his last dates, because none of those women seemed good enough for her best friend. But there was no way that meant…”Neither one of us is in love with the other.”

“Are you sure about that?” Elsa, just like Mary Margaret, looks entirely unconvinced.

“Really, guys? I thought I invited you over to hang out, not to nag me about my love life,” she snaps, irritated.

The room grows quiet. Emma presses play and resumes the movie in attempt to ease the tension between the three of them. They watch the rest of The Princess Bride in silence, and her friends leave as soon as it’s over, with little to say to her. She feels terrible. She shouldn’t have snapped at Elsa and Mary Margaret, but they’re right about at least one thing: she does miss him, and she’s willing to attribute it to the awful mood she’s been in. It was clear before he left that this would all be hard, but she also expected more than pictures and brief text conversations once or twice a week. She tries her best not to be angry with him, he’s busy and has things to do that she knows are more important than talking to her. 

The time difference doesn’t offer any additional help. When she goes to her room to get ready for bed, the alarm clock on her nightstand tells her it’s almost midnight. The band is Seattle this week, where it’s not even nine. Like most nights, she’s usually asleep before he’s even finished up for the day.

After she’d washed her face, brushed her teeth, and changed into pajamas- the Batman ones she was wearing the night they met- Emma sat in bed under the covers and opened her laptop to double-check the information on where the perp she was looking for would probably be tomorrow when she went out to look for him. She did what she needed to and was about to turn off the computer when the Skype notification popped up in the corner of the screen, with a call request from a number she didn’t recognize. Her first thought was to dismiss it; it could very well be someone who’d typed in her information by mistake. But, what were the odds…

It’s safe to say the neighbors heard her “Oh my gosh!” when she accepted the call and saw Killian’s face looking back at her on the computer screen. She hears him laugh at her reaction. “Hello, Swan. I was hoping I could catch you before bed.”

“Yeah, you had great timing.” She sat up in bed and adjusted her pajama shirt, trying to look somewhat decent considering her current position. “Killian, as glad as I am to hear from you, how the hell did you find time to call me? I thought it would be a few more hours before you were back from tonight’s show.”

“Aye. But I came back to the hotel as soon as we finished up. I was determined to speak to you sometime today since I’ve been a poor excuse of a friend these past few weeks,” he says, a hint of regret in his voice.

“Shut up with that. You’ve been really busy, becoming world famous and all.” Despite how much she wants the man to be next door again, she really is proud of him.

“I wouldn’t say world famous by any means, love.” He laughs nervously, and scratches that one spot behind his ear. God, she’s missed thim. “Although, I will admit, there are more fans than I was anticipating.” 

“Uh huh. I saw an article last week from one of those hipster music magazines that mentioned one of the shows in LA. Everyone in the comments wanted to know who the new hot guy was,” she teases him, knowing his face would likely turn three shades of red. (She was right.) 

“Alright, alright, enough about my life. What’s been going on with you, Swan?” 

Emma tells him about her newest cases, about the crappy server the Rabbit Hole has hired in his absence, and about their new neighbor that’s just moved in down the hall, an older guy from Wisconsin she’s dubbed “Grumpy” in her head thanks to his lousy disposition. She mentions that Elsa and Mary Margaret have asked about him, but doesn’t tell him the nature of their questions. There’s no need to make this conversation awkward, considering she has no idea when the next one will take place.

She has no idea how long she stays online with him, making up for lost time. But eventually, the long day begins to take its toll on her. It becomes harder to stay awake, despite how much she wants to, and Killian can tell. “I think it’s bedtime for you, Swan. Hard to catch criminals when you’re half asleep.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, I think you’re right,” she confesses, another yawn escaping her lips. “But I’m really glad you called me. I’ve missed you.”

“Aye, I’ve missed you, too. Will and August are staying in the room next door, and they aren’t quite as tolerant of my singing in the shower as you are.”

As hard as it is, she eventually tells him good night, and ends the call with a promise to hear from him again as soon as he’s given the time. She’s just turned off the lamp on her night stand and curled up under the blankets when she finds herself unable to stop thinking about him and their conversation. He had so much to say to her, and yet all she could focus on just him: those blue eyes she’d never realized were quite that bright, his hair tousled and looking even messier than usual. Those fans weren’t exaggerating when asking about the “hot guy” online. (She wasn’t blind. He was clearly good-looking, and she couldn’t find a single reason to say otherwise. But that meant nothing...didn’t it?)

She smiles at how nice it was to finally hear his laugh again, and to watch his face light up when he told her about his experiences on the tour so far. He’s finally getting to do what he loves most every day, and he’s never been happier. She doesn’t doubt that he’s also probably getting quite a bit of attention from the band’s fanbase; there’s no telling what kind of opportunities he’ll have access to once the tour wraps up. What could happen afterwards still scares her, even though she still wants whatever is best for him.

If she thought she missed him before, now it’s hitting her harder than ever. It’s not just his presence she wants back in her life. Before, she thought of the obvious things about him that made his absence hard, like his music, his voice, and his unwavering desire to spend time with her, no matter how difficult she made it. Tonight, she thinks of how he bites his thumb nails when he’s concentrating on something, whether that be the show they’re watching, or the new song he’s trying to learn. He can’t sleep without socks on both of his feet, and ninety percent of the time, they never match. He can’t bring himself to kill a bug, even the biggest of spiders. (He usually called her to come take care of it instead.) Despite his obvious passion for rock music, he loved musicals, and often sang songs from Wicked and The Book of Mormon while he cooked breakfast or cleaned his apartment. 

She considered what Mary Margaret and Elsa had said to her earlier that night, and suddenly finds herself unable to deny any of it. She certainly couldn’t speak for him, but her own feelings are coming through loud and clear.

She was in love with Killian Jones.

And she picked a fine time to realize it.

-/-

ES: I think I owe you two an apology. 

EA: No need. We should have left you alone about it. 

MM: I agree.   
Even though it’’s true. 

EA: Mary Margaret! 

MM: Sorry...

ES: Don’t be….I think this is the part where you say “I told you so.”

EA: Wait, why?

ES: You were right...I think I’m in love with him.

MM: I knew it!

ES: I’m so screwed.

EA: I know it sucks that he’s away, but at least you know he probably feels the same.

ES: Don’t be silly. Killian doesn’t love me... Not like that, anyway.

MM: Emma, are you blind?

EA: I’ve seen the way he looks at you. No way that’s not love.

MM: If Killian’s not in love with you, I’m willing to bet David’s not in love with me, either.

ES: Okay, now you’re serious.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost 3 months after posting the first part of this story, I'm finally here to finish it off. Believe me when I say I wasn't planning to take so long, but a rough semester of school kept me from doing as much work on this as I wanted to. I didn't think I'd be posting this today since this morning it wasn't even finished, but somehow or another my heartbreak over Jen announcing her exit from OUAT caused me to throw myself into this. (I'll be completely honest, the only time I haven't been bawling my eyes out today is while I've been writing.) A big thank you to everyone who have read and reviewed this story so far! You honestly don't know how much the kudos, comments, and bookmarks have meant to me over the past few months. I hope you enjoy the final part of this two shot as much as I enjoyed creating it. <3

You could blame it on Neal, on her wavering self-esteem, or on a number of different things she’d been forced to deal with during her nearly twenty-eight years of life so far. Either way, Emma found it nearly impossible to believe that Killian could somehow be in love with her. 

If anything, he probably viewed her as the sister he never had. And she’d seen enough movies and TV shows to know how situations like hers typically ended: awkwardly. It was just best all around if she kept all of this hidden, and hoped she would be able to act somewhat normally around Killian when he came back from the West Coast. (This causes her to wonder, not for the first time, if he’ll even be back for long at all once the tour is over with. It’s not likely that he’ll want to stay in Boston and work at the bar again when he’s guaranteed to have dozens of opportunities thrust at him.)

Their next Skype call takes place two weeks later on a Saturday afternoon (morning for him) when he’s in San Francisco, taking advantage of the wi-fi at a cafe near his hotel. Emma tells him he looks like something out of a movie, the outline of the Golden Gate Bridge even visible from a distance behind him. “I feel like you should be writing me a love letter or something with dramatic music playing in the background,” she tells him while she finishes off her second plate of pancakes. She quickly regrets the “love letter” part, and hopes he doesn’t read too much into those particular words. 

“My apologies, Swan. No dramatic music at my expense, and the only thing I’d consider professing my love to at the moment is caffeine.” He holds up his cup of coffee for emphasis, his third since she called just half an hour ago. 

“No sleep last night?” she asks, taking a long sip of her own cinnamon flavored drink. The stakeout she’d endured the night before had taken much longer than she anticipated.

“Not much, I’m afraid. Boys dragged me out of bed early yesterday morning to do all of the touristy stuff in the city while we had a chance. Thankfully they finally decided to take it easy today so I could talk to you without distractions.”

Emma frowned. “You sure you don’t need to take it easy today? Killian, I’m not gonna be offended if you want to crash while you can.”

“Nonsense. I’ll be fine.” His following yawn and the faint circles she could make out under his eyes said otherwise.

“Killian...go get some rest. At the very least, take a power nap or something,” she adds before he has a chance to object. “Your audience isn’t going to be very impressed if the guitarist is half asleep tonight.”

He sighs in defeat. “I suppose you’re right. I’m sorry, love. Guess I haven’t quite made up for being a lousy friend since I’ve been gone.”

“You’re off being a badass musician; that’s a lot more than I can say for any of my other friends at the moment.” 

“Aye. And don’t you forget it, Swan.”

-/-

He calls her at midnight on her birthday. “Killian, you shouldn’t have,” she tells him, thankful that they’re on the phone instead of Skype for once so he can’t see the ridiculous grin that’s been on her face since her phone lit up with his name on the screen. “You’ve got to be exhausted after tonight’s show.” The band is in Portland now, where they will be spending another week before wrapping up the last leg of the tour in Phoenix and Las Vegas next month. She actually got to watch part of their last show earlier while she got ready for bed, thanks to a heads up from Robin’s wife. Regina had recently flown west to travel with him for the rest of the tour, and posted a few songs using Facebook live per the fan’s requests. 

“No I’m not,” he yawns. “Besides, what kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t the first one to wish you a happy birthday?” 

“I probably would’ve let it slide considering the time difference...but I do appreciate your concern.”

“So, the big two-eight, eh? Any special plans today?” 

“Just the usual, tracking down a scumbag who didn’t want to pay child support. Although Elsa and Mary Margaret have dropped a few hints about dragging me out tomorrow- er, tonight. Whether or not I come home in one piece is the real question.”

“I’m sure anything left on my voicemail afterwards will indicate just how much you’ve had to drink,” he laughs. She just rolls her eyes, remembering the messages she’d left him the last time she’d went out drinking with her girl friends. (Apparently she spent a solid five minutes complaining to him about the fact that there were no pickles in her apartment. She didn’t even like pickles.)

As much as it pains her, Emma ends the call shortly after, knowing she’ll need a decent amount of sleep if ELsa and Mary Margaret expect her to be any fun when they go out later. She makes a mental note to have one of them take her phone away if she ends up drunk to make sure Killian doesn’t get any questionable voicemails this time around; the last thing she needs to do is pull a Rachel Green and end up confessing her feelings to him while he’s on the other side of the country. This situation is already messy enough on her part as it is.

There are no questionable voicemails left for Killian that night, but she wakes up the morning after her birthday with the worst hangover she’s ever had and two jars of dill pickles in her fridge.

-/-

Despite how much the first few months of his absence seemed to drag on, the last remaining weeks somehow go by quickly to the point that she didn’t even realize he’d be coming home so soon until he pointed it out to her over the phone one night.

She’s so excited to see him again. Emma never would have imagined herself being so caught up in another person, especially after Neal. But the time she’s spent without Killian since he left has made her feel like a part of her is somehow missing- even parts of her daily routine haven’t felt the same if he’s not around. Things like getting pancakes by herself at Granny’s on Tuesday mornings or having no one awake to send her corny jokes during late night stakeouts are harder to deal with than she ever would have expected. She can count on one hand how many times she’s watched Netflix over the past few months; she usually ends up turning the TV off after a few minutes and spends the time listening to his playlist on her phone instead. She never would have thought that trying to watch a movie without someone to sit in silence with would make such a difference and as much as she loves them, it’s just not the same with Elsa or Mary Margaret.

He’s flying home from Las Vegas in just two weeks. (Emma may or may not have an app on her phone counting down the hours and minutes till the day.) She quickly finds herself in a much better mood than usual, so much that one morning she goes as far as to tell Leroy to have a good day when she sees passes him in the elevator.

Even though she’s both tried to support Killian and has missed him terribly while he’s been away, flying out to one of his shows hadn’t been something she’d given much thought to- neither her bank account or her work schedule had up for a trip across the country, and he’d understood that when she told him so. But it’s when she’s laying in bed one night, watching another of the band’s videos live on her phone that she finds herself looking up flights to the last few places they’ll be stopping at before coming home the week after next. Of course, it would be just her luck that the only show she’d be able to make it to was in just two days, and in Phoenix at that. She hadn’t been back since her incident with Neal over a decade ago, and it wasn’t exactly a place she was keen on visiting again. But if it meant she finally got to see Killian…

She doesn’t hesitate to book the first flight available.

-/- 

Maybe Emma shouldn’t be quite so happy about seeing him again- it’s only going to make her feelings for him harder to deal with, especially since she has no intention of confessing while she’s there. But he’s her best friend. She hasn’t seen him in weeks, and she feels the right to be excited about both her visit and getting to watch one of his shows outside of a video online. Even though concealing how she feels about him is clearly going to be difficult, it’s easier to deal with than the prospect of ruining their friendship and losing his presence in her life altogether in one blow. 

At least, that’s what she tells herself as she boards the plane to Phoenix a few mornings later. It hasn’t taken long at all for her to get nervous about the whole thing. She decided not to tell Killian she was coming, wanting to surprise him at the show that night instead. But what if he’s not as excited to see her? What if she was just lovesick and this trip was really a huge mistake? 

It shouldn’t be a surprise that her phone vibrates with a new text just seconds before the plane takes off, as if he’d been reading her mind nearly three thousand miles away. Good morning, Swan. Hope you have a wonderful day, I’ve been missing you quite a bit. 

Maybe this visit wouldn’t be a mistake after all.

-/-

By the time her plane lands in Phoenix, she’s still excited, but also still a bundle of nerves. She spent the better part of the flight trying to figure out just how in the world she’s going to go about surprising Killian when she got here. The original plan was to show up at his hotel to surprise him before the show, but it wasn’t the best idea considering she didn’t know what his schedule for the day was and couldn’t exactly ask him without giving herself away. In the end, she decides on going straight to the venue, hoping she could get a spot close enough to the band that he’d be able to spot her from the stage. 

Emma spends the few hours she has free before the show lugging her overnight bag around to take in the city she barely knew outside of the walls of a cheap motel room; she hadn’t been willing to stick around after Neal left. Even with most of her time there had been spent with someone she loved- or thought she loved, anyway- there’s still an uncomfortable atmosphere about the place she can’t seem to shake off for one reason or another. When she’d decided to leave Phoenix and move across the country, she was heartbroken, lonely, and miserable. It doesn’t take long for those feelings to start resurfacing as she again begins doubting the last minute trip yet again.

Not knowing what else to do, she winds up calling Mary Margaret from a coffee shop near the band’s venue while she devours a bear claw and a drink that’s more sugar and cream than coffee. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” her friend tells her after she’s poured her heart out over the phone, leaving out the bit about being in Phoenix being harder than she thought. “Killian’s going to be absolutely thrilled to see you.”

“Maybe so, but what if he’s not? What if he’s annoyed that I showed up from the other side of the country with no warning?”

“If he’s anything but happy that you went all that way to support him, he’s an idiot.” Mary Margaret had no problem getting straight to the point when it came to people’s love lives. “Does this have anything to do with wondering if he has feelings for you?”

“It’s the lack of feelings I’m worried about,” Emma mumbles. She’s still had the same mindset that she shouldn’t tell Killian how she feels about him for both of their sakes, but just like everything else today, she’s not completely sure what’s best anymore.

She hears Mary Margaret sigh into the phone. “Should I even try again to convince you that there’s no way he’s not crazy in love with you?” A similar conversation had taken place quite a few times with both her and Elsa ever since she had admitted her feelings for Killian that night several weeks ago. “I know you’re scared to tell him the truth, and I understand that Emma, I really do. But the longer you go without being honest with him, the harder this is just going to get.”

“I know. Let’s just hope I remember that when I actually see him.”

-/-

She arrives at the venue early, and it’s a good thing too, because the place is nearly packed. Emma’s sure she pissed off quite a few people by pushing her way to the front of the room, but she’s determined to be somewhere in his line of sight when the guys take their places on the stage. It isn’t long before the band’s opening act starts her set, another up and coming artist from the same record label who usually plays two or three songs of hers before every show to get the audience excited for the show. The girl is definitely talented, but Emma doesn’t pay much attention during her set, too focused on seeing her best friend up on that stage instead. 

It feels like hours instead of minutes have gone by when the opening act finishes up and Robin walks onto the stage, followed by Will, August and...that’s when she sees him. He’s wearing his favorite Pearl Jam T-shirt and there’s a million dollar smile on his face. It’s easy to see that he’s clearly in his element, and she couldn’t be more proud of him for getting where he is now.

They’re less than a minute into the first song when he looks up and sees Emma in the crowd, easily finding her face out of the hundreds in the room that surround them. Somehow his smile manages to only grow wider, matching the one that’s now on her face. For once, she’s finally able to forget all her worries about the future and what it holds for both of them because she’s here with her best friend and she’s happy. 

And she loves him. At least it’s getting easier to admit it to herself, if no one else.

-/-

She wastes no time looking for him after the show ends. The one problem with not telling him she was coming is that she’s not exactly sure where to go, aimlessly making her way around the venue until she spots a woman who looks like Robin’s wife standing to the side, tapping away at something on her cell phone.

Emma quickly approaches her, figuring she’s likely to know where Killian and the guys are. “Excuse me, aren’t you Regina Locksley?”

The brunette glances up at her and nods. “Yes, but I’m sorry, the band doesn’t have much time to meet fans tonight.”

“Oh, no, that’s not what I’m here for. My name is Emma, I came to see-”

“Killian,” Regina finishes for her. “That’s right. I’m sorry, if he’d told me his girlfriend was coming, I would have arranged for you to watch the show with the rest of the crew.”

Girlfriend? Emma’s too caught of guard by the unfamiliar word to respond. “Oh I’m not...we’re not together,” she finally says after a moment. “He’s just my friend.” (Of course, Killian’s not just anything to her, but she doesn’t think that’s necessary to share.)

What really gets her attention is just how shocked Regina looks. “Oh. I’m sorry. He talks about you all the time so I just assumed…” she trails off. “Anyway, the boys should still be backstage putting their things away if you’d like to see him.”

The expression on her face must speak for itself since Regina turns and gestures for her to follow. Emma feels her heart racing in her chest as they head down a hallway that seems to lead to the other side of the venue. It’s sinking in that she’s finally going to see him after so much time apart and she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry tears of joy. 

It’s all she can do not to sprint past Regina when she sees a door opening ahead of them. She does when she sees who’s standing in the doorway and wastes no time throwing her arms around her best friend. He quickly pulls her into what feels like a bone-crushing hug, and just like that day at the airport, it feels like he’s the only thing holding her together. Her eyes close as she breathes him in- the smell of leather and his cologne and laundry detergent and Killian all hitting her at once.

“Emma.” He pulls away to look at her, like he’s trying to figure out if she’s really there with him. “Bloody hell…”

“Surprised to see me?” 

“You have no idea,” he laughs. “I was just coming to look for you. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“It was sort of a last minute thing,” she admits. “I just really wanted to come while I had the chance to. God, Killian, you were amazing.”

His cheeks turn red in embarrassment; it might be the most adorable thing she’s ever seen. (She’s starting to think like Mary Margaret now; has he really ruined her that much?) “Thank you, love, but it’s mostly the other guys that do all the work.”

“Stop being so smug.” She rolls her eyes. “You kicked ass tonight and you know it.” 

He’s kept from saying much else when Robin comes over to speak to them and reintroduces her to the rest of the band. She spends some time getting to know them a bit better while Killian helps pack up their instruments and equipment since they’ll be playing in a different venue in Phoenix tomorrow night. Robin, August, and Will seem like nice enough guys that all remind her of Killian in one way or another; she can see why he’s fit in with them so well over the past few months that they’ve been on the road. He hasn’t said anything else to her about potentially being asked to stay in the band after the tour wraps up, but it won’t be a surprise if it happens considering the dynamic they seem to have between the four of them. She tries her best to focus on being happy for him no matter what that would mean for their relationship, but she’d be lying to herself if she said the thought still didn’t scare her, no matter how hard she’s tried today to fight it.

“Fancy a drink, Swan?” he asks as the two of them leave the venue, splitting up from the rest of the band and crew so they could have time to catch up before she has to fly back to Boston tomorrow morning. 

“Absolutely.” She needs it thanks to her emotions being all over the place from the moment she bought her ticket to Phoenix earlier in the week.

They end up at a bar a few blocks away from the band’s hotel, one that reminds her a lot of the one he worked at in Boston. “You should be happy to know I haven’t listened to much music at all besides your playlist over the past few months,” she tells him as they take a booth near the door and order a few beers.

“Is that so?” He’s clearly proud of himself by the way he grins and raises an eyebrow. “Anything in particular that stood out to you?”

She chews on her lower lip as their drinks are brought to the table and thinks about the songs she’s listened to the most from his selection. “Hmm...there’s “Far Behind,” I really liked that one. Also “Edge of Seventeen,” “Bullet With Butterfly Wings,” “Flavor of the Weak,” “Dancing In the Dark”...hell, I honestly like the whole thing,” she admits. Choosing only one or two was too difficult.

“Not bad choices. Of course, I wouldn’t say otherwise considering I’m the one who picked them in the first place.”

Killian shouldn’t even be surprised by the eye roll she gives him. “Yeah, life on the road definitely hasn’t hurt your ego at all.”

She spends the next hour or so listening as he tells her all of his favorite places they’ve been to and things he’s gotten to do on the West Coast so far. Of course most of it revolves around the band’s shows. Emma watches his face light up as he tells her about his experience the first night of the tour when they opened in Los Angeles. “Bloody hell, Swan, it was incredible. You know I’ve been to plenty of shows before, but being up on stage myself, getting to play and feel the rush from the crowd…” he sighs, smiling as he shakes his head a bit. “There’s just nothing like it.”

Thanks to listening to Killian talk about doing what he loves and actually seeing just how happy it makes him, Emma’s reminded yet again that her feelings for him aren’t important, at least not where his future is concerned. She’s been harboring the fear that she’d lose his presence in her life if things worked out between him and the band, but could she really stand to be so selfish and let what she wanted cloud her judgment when he now had so many possible opportunities there just waiting for him? Loving Killian without ever telling him as much would only continue to become more difficult like Mary Margaret had pointed out earlier, especially if he wound up leaving Boston (and her). 

But that’s the thing about loving someone: their happiness quickly becomes much more important to you than yours. 

She’s not sure how much time they spend in that booth sharing beer, pretzels, and what’s happened since they last saw each other, but it’s well after midnight when they decide to leave. Emma all but sleepwalks out the door, the fact that it’s early in the morning in Boston quickly taking its toll on her body. 

“Have you made arrangements to stay somewhere for the night?” They’re about a block away from his hotel when he asks, gesturing to the small overnight bag she’s been carrying around.

Emma shrugs. Truthfully, seeing him is the only thing she gave much thought to when she’d decided to make the trip. “I was going to see if your hotel had a room open for the night. If not, I saw one or two more down the street that I can try instead.”

“Nonsense. You can stay with me, love. There’s no point in paying for a room just for one night.” 

Her breath catches a bit at the suggestion, and she hopes Killian doesn’t notice. There had been more than a few nights when they’d crashed at each others apartments, too tired to walk the few feet back across the hall to their own. Of course, that was before the idea of love had ever made its way into the mix. But that shouldn’t change anything, right? Especially since he doesn’t know how she feels, and she has no intentions of telling him anytime soon.

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I thought you’d been sharing with Robin.” 

“Aye, I have been for the most part up until now, but since Regina’s here, I didn’t think the two of them would appreciate having a third wheel sleeping in their room.”

“I’m sure that would be an awkward sleepover.”

-/-

Emma’s stomach is in knots by the time they arrive at his hotel. It’s a nice place, but she pays it little attention as they walk through the lobby and take the elevator up to the fourth floor where he’s staying. There’s a slight awkwardness between them she notices when they step off the elevator and walk the few steps down the hall to his room. She’s not exactly sure why on Killian’s part, considering she’s chosen to hide feelings for him; there was no reason she could think of for him to be acting strange.

The reason for his behavior is clear when they walk into the room and he turns on the light: there’s only one bed. It probably wouldn’t be given a second thought if they’d shared one before, but they haven’t- he always insisted on taking the couch and letting her have the bed, even in his own apartment.

“Um,” he says nervously, scratching behind his ear, “I forgot or I would have told you earlier: I got a single bed room since I knew I wouldn’t be sharing while we were here. I can sleep on the floor if you’d be more comfortable, though.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Killian. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you sleep on the floor in your own room.”

“I really don’t mind,” he insists, and she believes him. Sometimes Emma thought he could be too much of a gentleman, if that was even possible.

“I know you don’t. But we’re both adults; it’s not a big deal.” Actually, it sort of feels like one considering her conflicting thoughts on their relationship, but just like other things, it’s not something he particularly needs to know. 

He still looks a bit unconvinced. “If you’re sure, love…”

“I am.”

“Well, then. You can have the bathroom first, do whatever you need to get ready for bed.”

Emma lets out a deep breath once the bathroom door is shut behind her, glad to have a few minutes to herself before they have to share a bed for the night. It’s not that the idea of it bothers her; it’s just Killian. But that’s also the problem: it’s Killian. She’s beginning to wonder if deciding not to tell him how she feels was the best idea after all, because now it’s as if the universe is doing everything in it’s power to make hiding it that much harder.

She quickly washes up and changes into her pajamas, thankful that she’d packed a t-shirt and sweatpants to wear instead of one of her more revealing tank top and shorts outfits; no need to make this night any more awkward than it would likely be. But of course the shirt she brought was one of his. It wasn’t intentional- he’d left it at her apartment a few months ago after they’d spent the afternoon making cupcakes for no reason, and he’d gotten icing all over it. She had told him to leave it with her so she could wash it for him, and she did- three days after he’d left for the West Coast when she’d finally remembered it was there. So what if she’d taken to sleeping in it ever since? It was a soft, comfortable shirt, and she’d enjoyed wearing it. The fact that it smelled just like him didn’t exactly hurt either.

Emma hopes he won’t notice the shirt, but he looks up when she emerges from the bathroom and smiles at the sight of the faded Led Zeppelin logo. “I wondered what happened to that,” he says, chuckling. He’s already dressed for bed in a similar outfit, complete with his usual mismatched socks.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, leaving her overnight bag on a chair in the corner of the room and coming to sit on the side of the bed that’s closest to her. “Guess it got mixed up in my laundry.”

He goes into the bathroom next to brush his teeth quickly and then they’re both crawling under the covers, her exhausted thanks to jet lag, and him after tonight’s show. Emma always sleeps on her right side, but she turns over onto her left instead, in hopes that what they’re doing would seem less intimate if she wasn’t actually facing him. But there’s not much of a difference; it still feels as if they’re a couple going to bed like they do every night instead of two friends who were only sharing space due to circumstances. She can’t ignore the longing in her chest for the first option and wonders yet again what it would be like if she could come clean and not have to worry about the possible wedge it could drive between them.

If Killian notices something off about her, he doesn’t mention it, only says “Goodnight, Swan,” as a yawn escapes his lips.

“Goodnight,” she whispers back. Emma feels her eyes growing heavy and quickly succumbs to her exhaustion before she does something stupid, like saying, “I love you.”

-/-

It takes her a minute to figure out where she is when she wakes up the next morning, not familiar with the room she’s in...and also not familiar with waking up in anyone’s arms. She’s not sure how, but sometime in the middle of the night, she’s managed to find herself sprawled out on top of Killian, her head pillowed on his chest and his arms holding her tightly against him. (And last night she was worried about his shirt making things weird.)

As much as she hates to admit it, weird is the one thing that this doesn’t feel. It feels nothing but right, like she’s exactly where she’s supposed to be. And that only makes things more complicated, which should scare her more than her feelings already have. But it doesn’t. And of course, the fact that she’s so comfortable with this scares her a bit too. 

She’s pulled from her thoughts when she notices him stirring in his sleep; he’ll be awake soon. As much as she loathes to give up her current position, Emma forces herself to slip out of his arms and scoot back to her side of the bed without waking him up. She might be coming around to things in their relationship potentially changing, but this probably wasn’t the best way to find out if he was.

It’s only a few minutes later when she notices Killian rubbing his eyes as he sits up in bed. She tries not to laugh at the way his hair is sticking out in every direction, but a giggle escapes her lips before she can stop it. 

“What’s so funny, love?” he asks, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Let’s just say it looks like you fell asleep as Killian Jones and woke up as Albert Einstein.”

Killian laughs and runs a hand through his hair, which only makes it look messier than before. “Very funny, Swan. I’ll take that as your way of calling me a genius.”

She rolls her eyes as she takes the pillow she’s been propped up against and smacks him with it. “I was right when I said life on the road hadn’t hurt your ego.” A look at the clock on the nightstand tells her it’s almost eight in the morning; her flight back to Boston is in just a few hours.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He frowns at the sad expression on her own face.

“I have to be out of here soon. My flight leaves around lunchtime.” 

Emma can tell that he’s just as disappointed as she is. “Let’s at least get you a decent farewell breakfast before it’s time to go. Room service?”

“Do they have pancakes?” 

“Aye.” He chuckles at her sudden eagerness. “I’m afraid they’re not Granny’s, but they’ll do.”

-/-

“Don’t you dare tell Granny I said this, but I think your hotel gets extra points just for me being able to eat pancakes in bed.”

Killian laughs as he takes a bite of his own pancakes, smearing some of the chocolate syrup he’d ordered with them on his cheek in the process. “I think it’s safe to say that she’d draw the line there.” He’s clearly unaware of the mess he’s just made, just cuts another piece from the plate of pancakes that’s balanced on his lap. 

“I think you’ve got a bit of a mess there, bud.” She tries not to laugh as she gestures to his mouth and hands him a napkin. 

He quickly wipes it away, not even seeming to be embarrassed about anything with her at this point. “And you’ve got one of your own. Right about...here.” She doesn’t have a chance to react before he takes a lump of whipped cream on his fork and waves it in front of her face.

Emma shrieks, pushing his arm away as he tries to smear it on her cheek. “Killian, I love you, but I’ll show no mercy if you get that stuff in my hair.” 

She doesn’t realize what she’s said until it’s too late, sucking in a breath as he freezes beside her, clearly just as shocked as she is.

“Swan?” 

“I’m sorry, I just…”

“Did...did you mean that?” he asks hesitantly, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Yes.” Telling him the truth is the last thing she wanted to do, but now she’s starting to see that doing otherwise for so long would be inevitable, even if she did it without meaning to. “I love you. I just…didn’t know how to say so,” Emma mumbles, unsure of what else to say. She refuses to look over at him, eyes focused on her hands fisted in the bed sheets.

Killian doesn’t say anything back, but his silence is enough to tell her just how he feels about all of this. 

She quickly sets her half eaten plate of food on the bedside table and throws the sheets off her lap. “I’ll just go before I make this more awkward than it already is.”

“Emma, wait!” He reaches over and grabs her arm as she’s getting up off the bed. 

“Save it, Killian. I’ve already figured we wouldn’t be on the same page; it’s fine.”

He chuckles to himself, causing her to finally glance over at him, confused. “What’s so funny?”

“I thought you were more perceptive than that, Swan. You should have known that I’ve been in love with you for quite some time now.”

“I…” she trails off, unsure of what to say. He loved her?  
“You really thought I didn’t feel the same?”

She shrugs. “You know I’m a pessimist.” The same awkwardness she felt for a moment the night before quickly comes back in a rush. She’s imagined so many times over the past few months what it would be like if she told him how she felt, but now that she has, she doesn’t know what to do next.

“When did you know?” Killian asks. She can tell by the way he’s looking at her that he genuinely wants to hear her answer.

“The night we Skyped for the first time after you left. Mary Margaret and Elsa had been talking about us and I missed you so much that after you called it just sort of hit me like a ton of bricks,” she admits. “When was it for you?” 

“The day I left when we were saying goodbye at the airport. It was almost enough to keep me from going, but I didn’t know how you would react. Although if I’m being honest with myself, I think you began stealing my heart the night you showed up at my door for a light bulb.”

She’s not sure what gives her the sudden boost of courage, but she doesn’t think twice about throwing caution to the wind as she moves across the bed and kisses him for all he’s worth. 

He’s shocked at first; she can tell as much by the way his lips are tense against hers. It’s enough to make her pull back, wondering if she’s made a terrible mistake when his hand goes to the back of her head and he pulls her back down to reclaim her mouth with his own.

As cliche as it sounds there’s something to be said for kissing your best friend. Emma once would have rolled her eyes at the sentiment, but now she understands the truth behind it completely, knows that the way Killian cups her cheek and sucks her bottom lip between his feels nothing like it ever has before, every kiss she’s ever had before this quickly feeling pointless.

His forehead falls against hers when the kiss ends as she lazily runs her fingers through his dark hair like she’s always wanted to do. “Well, that was-”

“Not a one-time thing, I hope,” he finishes, smiling up at her.

She can’t hold back the grin that breaks out across her face. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“Oh, trust me, Swan, you do.”

Killian goes to kiss her again just as she notices the clock on the nightstand and groans.

“Love?”  
“As much as I hate to ruin this, it’s about time for me to head to the airport.” 

“Do you really have to?” he pouts, looking about as disappointed as she feels.

If Emma had her choice, she’d tell him no, she didn’t have to leave. She doesn’t want to, especially now that things between them probably aren’t going to be the same from here on out, and they don’t have the time before her flight to figure out just what it is that they are now. But her bills aren’t going to pay themselves, and she tells Killian as much. “But it’s only what...two more weeks until you fly back home?” She ignores that voice in the back of her head that reminds her yet again that she doesn’t know just how long he’ll even be back in Boston.

“Aye.” He smiles and takes her hand, intertwining their fingers together. “Don’t get me wrong, because I’ve enjoyed every minute of this tour so far. But you don’t know how nice it will be knowing you’re next door again, Swan.”

She doesn’t know whether it’s because of the smile on his face, how he squeezes her hand in his own, or the way he’s looking at her that makes Emma so hopeful. Maybe being honest about her feelings wouldn’t cause her to lose him after all. “Oh, trust me. I know.”

-/-

There’s a bit of sadness between them as he takes her to the airport, but it’s nothing like the last time they said goodbye what feels like ages ago now. Emma still regrets having to leave him, but knowing he’ll be on his way back home (back to her) so soon at least leaves her with something to look forward to. 

“You’ll let me know whenever your flight lands?” He asks, walking with Emma to her gate.

“Yeah. Hopefully we won’t have any setbacks.” The first call for her flight comes over the intercom; she only has a few minutes left with him before it’s time to go.

They both look at each other as if they’re not sure what to say. So much has already changed between them since they woke up this morning, and the unspoken question of where they stand now still needs to be asked, despite the fact that she’s just minutes away from getting on a plane.

“So, what are we doing?” she asks the same time he says “Emma, what are we doing?”

She laughs as he scratches behind his ear. “Well, at least we seem to be on the same page.”

“Yes, that much is evident,” he agrees. “But in all seriousness, Swan- I know this is bad timing, but after this morning, I...well, what I mean is, do you want this? Us?”

“Do you?”  
“I asked you first.”

“Killian, I said I loved you and then kissed you like my life depended on it. I wouldn’t have done either of those if I didn’t want something to come out of it.”

His face falls as the last call for her flight is announced. “I know it’s bad timing like you said, but you’ll be home soon and we can talk about all of this. I promise.” 

“Aye.” He shuffles back and forth a bit, like he’s not sure what to do next. “Since you seem to be alright with most of this...would it be too much to ask for a goodbye kiss?”

He looks so damn adorable when he asks that Emma probably would have agreed even if she didn’t love him so much. She grabs the lapels of his leather jacket and pulls him toward her long enough to press her lips to his, then pulls away. They didn’t have time for more, and dragging the goodbye out was only going to make it harder to deal with. “See you soon?”

“That you wil. Goodbye, Swan.”

“Goodbye.” She doesn’t say anything else as she turns and heads for her gate; there was no reason to make this harder than it needs to be, even if he is going to be back before she knows it.

-/-

Back in Boston safe and sound.

Glad to hear it.   
Is it silly to say I miss you already?

No. Because I miss you too.

Two more weeks, love.

I’ll be here waiting.

-/-

Emma expects the next two weeks to drag just like time did when he’d first left to go on tour, but to her surprise, it’s not all that bad. It also doesn’t hurt that they’re either calling, texting, or Skyping almost everyday either. Even though keeping up with each other had still happened regularly over the past few months, it seems like they can’t go more than a few hours after a call without wanting to talk to the other again. She doesn’t know whether to laugh or roll her eyes about it, thinking one night after she’d Skyped him before bed that they were acting lovesick teenagers instead of grown adults.  
They don’t talk much about what happened during her visit, aside from Killian once saying something along the lines of he was glad to be leaving Phoenix since his bed hadn’t felt the same since she left. It’s blatantly obvious that they both want to talk about their feelings for each other and the idea of being more than just friends, but it also goes without saying that it’s a conversation that shouldn’t take place over the phone or through a computer screen.

Emma spends the last few days before he comes home working on her latest cases and tidying up both of their apartments in an effort to calm her nerves. She’s so excited to see him she could burst. It’s different than last time when she’d flown out to see him because this time she knows he’s coming home and will finally be next door again like she’s been missing for months now.

They spend the night- or afternoon, for him- before his flight back to Boston eating pizza and watching the new season premiere of Game of Thrones talking over speakerphone instead of Skype since they were both using their computers to watch the episode. It had aired a few nights ago, but he and the band had a show, and she knew watching it without him wouldn’t feel the same, as silly as it sounded.  
.  
“Sort of like old times, isn’t it, Swan?” Killian asks her when the episode is halfway over.

Emma nods. “Yeah. Except now, you’re not at my door freaking out about Liam not paying the bill.” 

“Sue me for not wanting to fall behind. I’m kind of glad he forgot now, though,” he adds after a moment.

“Why is that?”

“Because I might not have made my best friend otherwise.”

For once, Emma’s glad they’re not on Skype so he can’t watch as a lump quickly begins to build in her throat. His words shouldn’t be near enough to make her emotional, but she can’t help but think back to that night they met when she’d just moved in, and she was dead set on not having anything to do with him after borrowing a light bulb. And now, she couldn’t be more grateful that she’d changed her mind.

“Yeah. Tell Liam I said thanks.”

-/-

It goes without saying that Emma isn’t the type of person who usually participates in public displays of affection. And yet she runs- literally, runs- across the airport as soon as she sees him arrive at his gate, the rest of the band and crew trailing behind him. A grin breaks out on Killian’s face as he drops his bags and pulls her close against him.   
She hadn’t realized just how good it would feel to have him back, and she wonders if Killian feels the same way about coming home considering the bone-crushing hug he has her in.

“Killian?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy to see you...but I’d be much more happy if I could breathe.”

He quickly releases his hold on her and winces apologetically. “Sorry, love. I suppose I got a bit too excited.”

“It’s okay.” He smiles at her and she wonders (not for the first time) how she’s managed to resist him for so long. “Welcome home, rockstar.”

They’re interrupted when Robin comes over to speak to him. She doesn’t pay attention to much of their conversation- it’s none of her business, anyway- but she hears him tell Killian that he’ll “be getting in touch” with him soon before he and the others tell them goodbye as they head their separate ways.

She briefly wonders just what Robin has to discuss with him but quickly forgets about it as they load his luggage into the bug and head to their building. Killian is dead on his feet by the time they arrive at his apartment, the jet lag clearly doing more of a number on him than he expected.

“Killian, go get some rest,” she tells him when he denies her accusations that he’s exhausted. “I’ll bring dinner over tonight and we can talk after you’ve had a chance to get settled back in.”

He doesn’t even argue with her this time, just drags himself across the apartment to his bedroom and falling face first down into the mattress. A giggle escapes her lips as she hears him snoring before she’s even out the door.

After spending the better part of the afternoon working on her newest case, Emma picks up his favorite chicken alfredo pizza from the Italian place near their building and takes it next door around dinner time. She can tell from the moment Killian opens the door that he’s feeling much better. Most of his things are already unpacked; aside from the souvenirs scattered throughout the apartment, it almost looks as if he never left.

They have dinner and drink wine on the couch as she listens to more of the stories he hadn’t gotten to tell her while she was in Phoenix and a few that took place after she left.

“Wait, so she actually proposed to you?” she asks when Killian tells her about his encounter with a slightly intoxicated fan after one of their shows in Las Vegas.

“Aye,” he laughs. “I thought she was only joking, had no idea she’d get so upset when I had to turn her down.”

“I didn’t know life on the road had turned you into such a heartbreaker,” she teases him. 

“What can I say? I’m irresistable.”

She rolls her eyes as she take a sip of wine. It’s only a few minutes later that she notices him shifting uncomfortably in his seat, looking over at her as if he’s not sure what to say next.

“Emma, I…” He pauses. “I know we haven’t really had much of a chance to talk about it since, but what happened between us in Phoenix...well, let’s just say I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

“Me neither. And that’s saying a lot, since it seemed like I already couldn’t get you out of my head,” she admits.

He smiles at the words and she wonders not for the first time how she was able to resist him for so long. “So, what exactly do you want from this, Swan? From us?”

“Honestly? I just don’t want to lose you.” The last part comes out in a whisper as she swallows the lump building in her throat.

“Who said you were ever going to lose me?”

She just shrugs. “I just figured after the tour that you’d realize there were bigger and better things out there for you than Boston. Things that didn’t include me.”

Killian sits his glass of wine on the coffee table and moves over on the couch to sit closer, his leg brushing against hers.. “Emma, I may be uncertain of my future at this point- with the band, hell, with almost everything else in my life,” he adds. “I can’t say that there won’t be other tours, especially if things with the band do end up working out in my favor. But if there’s one thing I am certain of, it’s you. I love you, Swan, and I have no intentions of living a life that you’re not a part of, as long as you’ll have me.”

A smile quickly forms on her face as she hears his words and tries not to cry. “Of course I’ll have you, you adorable idiot.” 

He laughs but makes a face at her. “I’m not quite sure if I should be offended or flattered by that term, Swan.” 

Emma just kisses him instead of making a comment about bruising his ego. It works.

(She doesn’t go back to her apartment until the next morning.)

-/-

Things start working out for them better than she could have ever thought. One of the best things about falling in love and dating her best friend was skipping the awkward ‘getting to know each other’ phase and quickly falling into a relationship that doesn’t scare her like it would have with anyone else besides Killian. 

He takes her on their first date the night after they made it official. They have dinner at an Italian restaurant by the water where he bribes the band into serenading Emma with a rendition of “Love Song,” since she’d told him earlier that it was her favorite song by the Cure. They ended the night by watching Netflix, too busy making out on the couch to pay any attention to whatever it was playing in the background.

Killian’s been home from the tour for three weeks when he gets a call from the band. She can tell he’s nervous as she sits at her kitchen table and watches him pace around the apartment until it’s time to leave for the meeting the boys have scheduled with him. “Stop being so nervous, babe,” she tells him, the endearment she’d recently started using for him quickly sticking. “I’m sure whatever they have to talk to you about is good news.”

“I can only hope so.” He runs a hand through his hair and checks his wristwatch one last time before deciding it’s time to leave. “Do I get a kiss for good luck?” he asks her, waggling his eyebrow like he knows she can’t resist.

“You don’t need luck. But just because I want to…” She leans across the table and he meets her halfway, pressing his lips to hers before reluctantly pulling away. 

“Thanks, Swan. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Let me know what’s going on after the meeting’s over.”

She’s still at her table an hour later doing case work on her laptop when Killian bursts through the door and nearly gives her a heart attack. “If you were trying to scare me, it worked.”

“I need to talk to you about something, love.” He’s smiling, but she can see that he’s hesitant to share whatever was discussed between him and the band.

“I’m listening. Did everything go okay?”

“Aye. Better than okay, really.” His smile only widens. “They’ve asked me to officially join the band.”

Emma bolts from her seat at the table and throws her arms around him. “Ah I knew it! I’m so proud of you.” Instead of fear, now she feels nothing but happiness for him. They’d already discussed the possibility of what it would mean for them if this did indeed happen, and now she’s ready to support him and face whatever’s next head on.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he says, holding her tightly against him. 

She doesn’t even try to contradict him, knowing from previous conversations that he wholeheartedly means it. “So, what’s next? Are you guys planning anything?” 

“You could say that.” They pull apart and Killian takes her hand as they move into the living room to sit on the couch. “Mostly songwriting and promotional stuff for the next album for now. The record label would like us to have something ready by spring or summer. There’s also talk of a tour on the East Coast around the same time.” He adds the second part hesitantly, as if he’s nervous to see her reaction.

Emma smiles and squeezes his hand. “At least you won’t have a new time zone to get used to. I know you have plenty of fangirls in Boston that are bound to come to your show if there’s one here.” 

“That might be so, love, but there’s only one I’m concerned about.” 

“Really? Tell me about her.”

“Well, she’s clever; had me whipped longer than I’d like to admit. Beautiful...blonde...big green eyes...the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.” Emma pinches his side at that. “She’s my very best friend and I love her more than she could ever know.”

Damn him and his way with words. She started off laughing and now she’s trying not to tear up. “I think she loves you, too.”

He kisses her softly, forehead leaning against hers as they pull apart. “There’s something else I’d wanted to discuss with you as well.”

“What’s that?”

“The boys were discussing what they’re going to do about tour management this time around. Regina has done most of it in the past, but she and Robin just found out they’re expecting a baby and they both feel she should step back for now.”

“Leaving you without a tour manager,” she assumes. 

“Aye. The boys were talking and, it’s completely fine if you’re not alright with it, but I mentioned something about offering the position to you.”

Emma’s not sure if she’s heard him correctly at first. “Me? Really?”

“I know you have a job in bailbonds that you’re already wonderful at,” he quickly points out, taking her surprise as a bad sign, “but I just thought I’d see how you felt about the idea since we wouldn’t have to be apart for tours anymore if you were there. Like I said, it’s completely fine if you’d rather not consider it, though.” 

She doesn’t have to do much thinking about it; bailbonds has worked in her favor for the past few years, but she’s never wanted to do it forever. And spending time on the road with her boyfriend, helping him further his career for a living… “I’d love to. Y’know, as long as the band is okay with it.”

The smile that was on his face before is nothing to the one that’s there now. “Bloody hell. You really want to do this, love?”

“As long as you’re there...then yeah, I really do.”

-/- 

They go on a three month tour in the spring, and it goes better than she could have ever imagined it. She loves being with him every step of the way and doing everything she can to make sure each and every one of the shows go off without a hitch. It’s exhausting some days, but it’s worth it every time she sees him on stage doing what he loves the most. 

The band’s first album with Killian drops shortly after and seems to become a bestseller overnight. It does so well that the two of them are able to move out of their building when their leases end, into an apartment so nice that he has a room solely dedicated to his guitars- although he prefers to serenade her with the acoustic one that made its first appearance the night they met.

They’re on tour again two years later when he drops to his knee on stage and asks her to marry him in front of one of the biggest crowds they’ve ever played for. She says yes.

Later, he writes his own song about it that only she gets to hear.


End file.
